i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
