a queef is a wish your heart makes.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
