bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
