I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I AM VODKA MAN
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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