I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
