Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
