i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
