Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Randomize
