why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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