she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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