Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
