All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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