We're facebook friends in real life
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
