I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
