I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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