i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
