apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
