He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
