omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
