Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
