This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
