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My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
