Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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