just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i came on her dog
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
