she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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