And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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