he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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