This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
