someone get that fucking seahorse.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
