.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
