i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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