I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
