Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
