I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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