Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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