Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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