Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
