i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
