I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
