I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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