I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
