I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
