see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
