I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
