this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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