gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
