Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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