cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Randomize
