we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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