so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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