Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
