there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
